real.eyes moment

It is a strange real.eyes.ation when you accept someone you think knows you well may not. Sometimes it is the most casual observations that show how little they really know you. It is a moment in time where you must reflect and accept what you may know, or not, about them. It is a flash of the reality beyond the veil, reminding us that we are in deed and depth unique collages of information.

I am thinking today of my adult child and working to accept his choice to live fully in the present moment and not really share his life with those who are not present. It is difficult to release the notion that if he hadn't been taken from me, against our will, repeatedly throughout his childhood that this would not be the dynamic. In my highest self, I give thanks for every word of text that arrives and cherish the occasional blessing of hearing his voice and seeing his face on a screen.

I do realize that he is part of a generation that views the world quite differently that any that precedes them. I also know that I have raised him to walk in the presence of Now and to not feel tethered by projected expectations or elements of your life that feel like obligation. I respect that he is working hard and enjoying his life. I take pride in the reality that he doesn't need me and is incredibly self-sufficient and motivated.

Sadly, for parents more than most perhaps, the reality of people moving on with their lives from whatever day-to-day connection may have once existed can be a profound human challenge. We all face it with job change, moving to a new town and break-ups of all sort. The older we grow, the more distant some folks feel from daily human contact and social or family interaction.

I find myself today, after laughing hysterically at a simple misconception expressed by my older son, feeling a tinge of remorse. My eyes are moist with a splash of loneliness for our relationship. I wish that he knew his brother and I better. I have wished that throughout his teenage years, as I have longed to know him better. My hope in expressing these thoughts to the Uverse is that in our adult relationship we will grow closer at some point. My wish is that even if we both spend our lives living in different places or traveling the globe, that we will find tools and motivations to connect often and to know the intricacies of our challenges and our joys.

Motherhood is a unique gift in our humanness, as is becoming a man. Each of you have your own unique paths of challenge and joy. We are each working against the odds of environmental impositions and a world fighting to be free. We are each navigating the dynamics of a myriad of human relationships. In the transitions of architecture in our energies, may we all find connectivity and balance.